Complete Wizard was my jam. I liked it a lot, but, to be honest, I only ever really wanted to be a witch, because of the free magic items; everything else was kinda meh for me. So, let's dig into them. I'll note that each wizard kit has barred schools for specialization, though these don't actually prevent them from using those spells... Patricians won't specialize in Necromancy, but he can still use Necromancy is not otherwise prevented (i.e. illusionists have it barred as a class).
Academicians: Why not just call them academics? Who knows! They have a slight restriction on WP (boiling down, more or less, to "can't pick darts or quarterstaves at 1st level"), a bonus of Reading/Writing, and a reaction bonus with scholars, intellectuals, and similar folks, and a bonus (static or scaling with age, DMs choice) to Intelligence and Wisdom checks. In return, they have a -1 to hit on the first attack against any given opponent, and some soft "You should be a pedant and kind of a jerk about it" RP guidance that doesn't rise to the level of a modifier.
I kind of like this one; it's practically pure improvement, because a -1 to hit with melee weapons is mechanical flavor of little real impact, but it definitely skews the character a certain way. The RP "hindrance" of "you have to be a pedant" isn't backed by any particular teeth, though I question how much teeth it could be given, especially as it is oriented towards intra-party action.
Amazon Sorceress: Still kinda meh. Same "significant bonus against rare opponents, and a reaction penalty for the same people", but with a slight benefit: they can pick some more martial weapons: the Spear or the Long Bow, with an implication to also eventually get proficiency in the javelin or other bows (they're listed as possible equipment). There's also suggestions to change your amazons if they're not humans... half-elves should have short bows, gnomes should have throwing axes or short swords, and get tracking and survival instead of Riding and Animal Training, and elves should get Endurance and Set Snares. The "can hit some men better, and some men are jerks" is still a meh modification, but the bonus NWP and the WP change are nice.
Anagakok: An interesting one, with a lot of modifications. Like the amazon, they have some non-standard weapons available (bows, harpoons, javelins, and tridents), and some basic survival skills (Endurance, Survival, Weather Sense). They can find food for themselves and others, have a spell-like ability to give opponents a -1 to hit themselves and others for a decently long time (1 turn/level), and doesn't take damage from natural environments like they're used to (either extreme heat or cold; doesn't apply to spells or other attacks). In return, they have a decent reaction penalty (-2 for everyone not familiar with their culture), and a -1 to pretty much everything when they're in the opposite clime (Frigid when its hot, Torrid when its cold). But these are EXTREMES... 100*F and 0*F. Frigid Anagakok is fine through 99*, and Torrid down to 1*, which feels really light, even for the pervasiveness of the penalty. Even in our heated world, on the edge of the desert, it's not hitting 100* often enough to be a big penalty for the Frigid Anagakok. They're a pretty extreme character choice... you're playing the weirdo... but I'm not sure about the mechanical balance for some nice benefits.
Militant Wizard: I wanted to like them, but they're not good. Bonus WP and a big list of available weapons... axes, swords, bows, crossbows, etc. No pole-arms except basic spears. Bonus of Endurance. Can take Warrior NWPs without penalty. But, in return, they pick up an extra barred school (specialists), or pick up weird hindrances... forbidden from 8th and 9th level spells (more or less pointless), an effective two-point drop of intelligence (for EVERYTHING), or getting, essentially, three barred schools for no apparent reason. For all that Amazons and Anagakok just give away more martial weapons, this kit wants you to pay a really high price for them. Hard pass.
Mystic: Limited WP choice (even as they level up), bonus Astrology and Religion. Bonus weekly spell power... feign death, levitate, or Spirit Form (the best choice, IMO), which lets them astrally project and fly their spirit around. In return for this once-a-week spell-like power, they have to meditate two hours a day, every day, or they cast a number of spells equal to those of a wizard 1 level lower. This is, IMO, another too-big of cost for too small a benefit. The Spirit Form ability is cool, but, otherwise, it's a once-a-week spell that isn't that great. If they were once a day, they would maybe be worth it; as it is, it's too much for too little.
Patrician: Like the Noble Warrior and Noble Priest, the Patrician gets a chunk of change, reaction modifiers with other nobles, the ability to demand shelter, and some bonus NWP, in exchange for conspicuous consumption and the need to host others when he can. Compared to they Mystic and the Militant wizard, this is a relatively balanced and light kit... you get a bit of a cash boost at first, some NWPs that are nice, and a bearable penalty... but they're also pretty meh, beyond that.
Peasant Wizard: Opened up weapon proficiencies a bit to include bows and spears, a general peasant-like NWP, reaction modifier with peasants... and, technically, cannot own a spellbook. They can only own one thing worth 15gp, which spellbooks are worth far more. Total value is no more than 75gp, and spellbooks are worth far more. Like, what the hell, man? Didn't you read this? The "barred schools" also says peasants don't have many diviners, which is another WTF from me. I thought Militant wizard was unnecessarily punitive, and mystic wasn't worth the cost, but "Oh, you can't own a spellbook" is simply ridiculous.
Savage Wizard: Kind of a variation on the Anagakok, from a similarly savage tribe. Spears and blowguns are available, they get a couple of NWPs (the Anagakok gets 3 of the 4 options, while the savage only gets 2), and a weekly spell-like ability... day-long Protection from Evil, a voodoo doll that can do up to 10 points of damage to a single target (though you need hair, fingernails, or something similar), or fortune-telling, which is 50/50 bonus or penalty... and, of course, the requisite reaction penalty. The day-long protection from evil 1/week is kind of nice, the others are just meh (seriously, it doesn't tell the future, it just gives you penalties have the time). None of them are worth the cost, even though the cost isn't that big. But the day-long protection from evil is interesting, because the kit ALSO forbids you from Abjuration. And, BTW, though you can make a voodoo doll, you can't do enchantment/charm. Ugh. Bad choices, IMO.
Witch: Oooooh, boy. They're pretty BIG changes. Let's start with downsides. No WP, ever, but you still have restrictions on the weapons you must buy. HUGE reaction penalty from most people (-3), and even more from people with low Int or Wisdom (-5)... but you don't suffer it from people with a good Int or Wisdom (13+). There's a 20% chance, cumulative, of an angry mob forming EVERY DAY. If you manage to avoid it for five days, it will be 12d6 people come for your head. Additionally, you have one sort of big penalty... either a -2 to attacks and saves on nights of the full moon and three days on either side (so, every night for a week, every 4 weeks), a 25% chance of the same penalties happening on any given night, or -1 to attack all night, every night. The third is, IMO, the least burdensome, for all that it happens every night... -1 to attack isn't great, but it also isn't why you're playing a wizard.
In return? Bonus NWP (herbalism and... Spellcasting?) 1500gp worth of magic items at 1st level (not sure what they mean by GP, here, since the DMG in 2e went to pure XP value, which is what we used). Always get detect magic and read magic, which weren't that big of bonuses for us, since we gave those to all wizards. Then, every odd level from 3 to 13, they get a bonus ability. Secure familiar for free, brew a sleeping poison (up to 8 HD, save to negate). Brew Class L contact poison (not a combat poison; contact, but 2-8 minute onset, and 10/0 damage). At 9th level, it is a NO SAVE charm person or charm monster, with the only limitations being no more than 8 HD, and no more than one at a time (and that is only inferred). Sweet monkey. At 11th, they can make a flying ointment, at 13th, they can curse a person for 24 hours, no save.
Witches are kind of insane, and despite their massive drawbacks, may even be overpowered. At 9th level, they have a no-save charm on anyone 8th level or under. At 13th, it's a no-save, 24 hour curse. The note at the end says that the DM should experiment, and avoid the temptation to make them too powerful but they are big on paper.
Wu Jen: WP from an expanded list (blowgun, short bow, or a few asian weapons), at +1 to hit with them, bonus NWPs. At 4th level, they can cast a spell for maximum effect 1/day, provided it is three levels below their own... so 1st level spells at 4th, 2nd at 5th, 3rd at 6th, 4th at 7th... then any one spell per day, because they'd get 5th at 8th, but they don't get 5th level spells until 9th, and so it just tracks with maximum spell level from there. As a cost, they get a taboo at level 1, and an additional taboo at level 6, 11, 16th, etc. The effects of the taboos are left up to the DM, but can have some big role-playing difficulties if they're enforced... like can't sleep within 20 yards of the opposite sex, or can't cut hair, or can't take the life of an insect (hello, thri-kreen!). I don't particularly like how wishy-washy the mechanics are... the DM is given options from "Lose spells" to "just die", and it feels like this might have been graded a bit... your first level taboo causes X, your 6th level taboo causes Y (or it causes X and your 1st level taboo causes Y), but I think it's a not-bad kit, for all that... not as extremely powerful as a witch, but with a nice ability balanced by some ill-defined but definitely supposed to be mechanical penalties.
Overall? Meh. The Academicians are ok, the Anagakok are neat, and there are a few that expand the weapon selection. But some are just horrible. The militant wizard pays extremely for bonus WP, the mystic has a pretty huge cost for a once a week talent, the peasant wizard cannot, and I must stress this, CANNOT own a spellbook, much less things like a research library. I think the militant wizard is the most offensive, because of the very high cost they might pay, but, once again, the Peasant Wizard cannot own a spellbook, because they are too expensive, and they aren't often diviners for some reason. They're mostly just weird and poorly thought out.
The Ogre's Library
An intermittent collection of my thoughts on RPGs, computer games, and books.
Tuesday, October 13, 2026
Complete Wizard's Kit Evaluation
Krond Heights and Goblin Deeps, Part 9: History, Mushroom, and people on Mushrooms
Going underground, this is the first part of the section on the Netherdeep, covering the history of the Goblin Kingdom, and the Muscheron Colonies, and the Morlock areas
History
More than five thousand years ago, the dwarves of the Northern Mountains founded K’Ran’da, the first dwarven kingdom. Deep beneath the peaks of what they called the K’Ran’Da Heights, they hewed a kingdom out of rock, and secured it against goblins, orcs, giants, and the horrors of the deep. They farmed the valleys, raised their families, and ignored the growing threats around them, secure in their mountain homes.
After four thousand years, K’Ran’da fell, for reasons not entirely clear today. The vermii hold that they were attacked by goblins, backed by demons, and the subsequent history of K’Ran’da certainly bears out that goblins were involved, but it is not clear that they were the instigators of the destruction, or merely its beneficiaries. Regardless, by 500 B.I.R. (Before Imperial Reckoning), the dwarven kingdom of K’Ran’da had fallen, its people enslaved to the nascent Goblin Kingdom.
The goblins, at first owning only a single city and the farmlands outside, began a campaign to conquer the old dwarven territory. The decline of the dwarven kingdom had left the morlocks, the muscheron, the deep orcs, and the vermus in strong positions, occupying many of the cities. Others fell to vermin, such as stercuses, muck men, and spiders. Dwarven slaves, left from the conquest of K’Ran’da, were worked to death in the cities of their ancestors, until circa 50 B.I.R., when human and halfling explorers from Brandobia came to the river valleys of the K’Ran’da Heights, which the goblin accent rendered “Krond Heights”. They established themselves in the mountains, first under the protection of the giants, then the halflings joining the goblins. Still, however, the goblins remained in the Krond Heights, and did not expand into former dwarven territory in the Shashyfs.
Early in the Imperial Reckoning, hobgoblin attacks against Eastern Brandobia increased. As the hobgoblins pushed down from the Heights, they encountered the Goblin Kingdom, and brought it into the empire of Kruk-ma-kali, formally founded in 22 IR with the defeat of Eastern Brandobia. According to goblin histories, the hobgoblins treated the goblins intolerably, ignoring the rights and privileges that should have belonged to the goblin king and his subordinates, leading to Kruk-ma-kali’s assassination by goblins from the House of Knives in 35 IR, and the dissolution of the Empire.
One effect of Kruk-ma-Kali’s empire was that the goblins began to look outside of their kingdom under the Krond Heights. They began to reclaim dwarven ruins and positions in the Shashyf Hills, clashing with Bylenjy Dejy and orcs of the Green Scourge. This fresh source of slave labor reinvigorated the goblin economy, and may have saved the remains of the K’Ran’dan dwarves from extinction, as new sources of labor allowed some of the population stress to be removed from them.
More than five hundred years later, this is still much the situation. Goblin expansion has been focused on the Shashyf Hills, and their long-running war with the Green Scourge orcs is drawing to a close with the Scourge’s conversion to the Blood Drinker tribe and withdrawal across the Ghokhaagr River. The balance of power remains with the giants aboveground, but the giants have not exerted power against the goblins in the river lowlands. To the north, there is a back and forth of dente and aggression between the Goblin Kingdom and the Lady of the Webs and her spider and kobold minions, plus the depredations of morlocks, orcs, and other deep dwellers. South of the Goblin Kingdom, much of the Deeps remains wilderness, the
domain of wild orcs, muscheron, and other creatures, with only occasional goblin scouting parties.
The Muscheron Colonies
While not a cohesive force, nor a collective power, the fungoids are counted by the goblins as being a “friendly state”; one which does not need conquering, because they’re doing everything the goblins want by simply existing and trading, but who wither and die if forced into goblin service. Somewhat bizarre and grotesque by demihuman standards, the fungoids respect the boundaries agreed to by the goblins, and their splintered nature means that they do not perceive a threat to the whole if the goblins are forced to move against one of their clade; there’s no sense of community between fungoids of different species.
The muscheron have no defined territories; each colony is sovereign, and maintains its own tunnels and caverns. Some grow in the ruins of old dwarf outposts, others in natural caves, or in water-cut tunnels and near underground lakes. In travelling the network of tunnels left by dwarves, titanic worms, and other industrious burrowers, one might come across a fungoid colony practically anywhere the sun does not reach. Most are not immediately hostile, but are wary, and they do not like hacking weapons being wielded.
Communicating with the muscheron colonies is a bit of a difficulty. They do not speak, and do not properly “hear”, as goblins think it, and each species has its own language, only parts of which can be sensed by non-fungoids. Over the centuries, a sign language called “Mushroom” has developed that most muscheron employ when dealing with goblins. It incorporates relatively large movements of the body, along with thumps on the ground or chest, hums, and other non-verbal vibrations as emphasis. Goblin diplomats frequently learn Mushroom, and those who deal extensively with one colony will learn some of their language.
***
Sidebar: Talking Mushrooms
Most Muscheron languages take place in a way that it is difficult for humanoids and demi-humans to detect or participate in. Can you thump on the floor with an exact strength with your foot? The exact strength needed being determined by the composition of the floor, which you also detected with your feet? Can you adequately spread your gills so they express shock? Tip your headcap slightly to indicate disbelief? Non-fungoids attempting to understand muscheron languages take a -25% penalty to their skill, and those attempting to speak it take a -50% penalty to their skill; someone with less than a 25% is learning the language, and can recognize that language is happening, but knows nothing about what is said, except in very basic circumstances. Mushroom, the language developed to facilitate communication with the Muscheron, imposes no such penalty, but it also faces many of the same limitations of Merchant’s Tongue; its vocabulary and scope are somewhat limited by the simplicity necessary to make it intelligible across the cultural and physiological divide.
***
Another communication problem comes from culture. While most of the fungoids do not have a proper hive mind, the subtlety of their communication can make it seem as if they do. They lack many of the urges that drive other species; their emotions, if they even have them, are inscrutable. To goblins, they seem almost entirely survival oriented, and the difficulties in communications (and goblin lack of care) means that any art, literature, or music they may have is completely unknown.
The muscheron, however, also simply do not care about the goblins, and there are some restrictions that the goblins find they cannot enforce. While some attempt to make the muscheron stop dealing with vermii and other non-goblin groups have been tried, the fungoids say they can’t tell the difference between a goblin, a vermus, or whatever else might come to them in peace. As such, many muscheron colonies supply everyone with food. In trade, most muscheron take waste; dead bodies, rotting leather, burnt bones, offal; anything organic that can be broken down by their fungus crops. While goblins generally don’t cart all of their waste to the fungoids (they generate a lot, and have other sources of food), enough goes in that the muscheron haven’t been expansionist in more than a century. If goblin supplies fall short, they can also cart more waste, or even trade metal items if they need to; the muscheron know the value of metal spear tips.
The vermii use the muscheron fields as dumping grounds for bodies; goblin assassins tend to like having their work found, while the vermii find that more confusion is spread by a sudden disappearance than a dead body -- and they get paid in food for giving the fungoids a goblin corpse, so it’s a double benefit. Many smaller communities are also more assiduous about their waste disposal; while the fungus crops of the muscheron are seldom anyone’s favorite food, they’re edible by most species that aren’t obligate carnivores, and even by some who are.
Lest life with the muscheron begin to sound idyllic, there are some difficulties. First of all, muscheron react extremely hostilely to anyone wielding Hacking weapons. On your belt or in a sheath is generally fine, but hacking weapons are forbidden to goblins going to allied muscheron colonies. They muscheron say they cannot tell the difference between goblin or vermus, orc or human, but they know those who have drawn weapons on them before. Their resistance to the damage of Puncturing and Bashing weapons means that they care less about those; waving about a club or pointing with a spear is not seen as terribly aggressive by them. They are also not immune to attack. While goblins are relatively reasonable, muscheron themselves are still regarded as food by troglodytes, unallied bugbears, and orcs. Raids by these creatures makes the muscheron edgy towards all strangers. Speaking even basic Mushroom can allay their fears, but proficiency with Mushroom becomes less common the further one moves from the Goblin Kingdom.
The Morlock Regions
Goblins destroy the morlock fungus wherever it is found, but it can take root almost anywhere in the Deeps, and grows fairly quickly, meaning new outbreaks are not uncommon. It also seems that some have a natural immunity to the morlock fungus, or, at least, a considerable resistance. This can result in them being carriers of fungal spores, especially in warm or moist pockets of their bodies. The spores will grow and propagate on their skin, and rub off where the carrier touches. The young spores attach to the rock and begin to leach lichens, minerals, and slime molds, including the respirator slime molds that help produce oxygen and reduce poisonous carbons dioxide and monoxide. The result is that morlock caverns are thick with “foul air”, which can result in suffocation if there’s inadequate circulation. Those dead areas will recover, in time, but force the morlocks to move into new areas as the old become uninhabitable.
Some regions, such as under the mountains behind the Odril Hills and just north of the P’Bapar Pass, are almost completely filled with the morlock fungus and its victims. The P’Baparan expanse is almost entirely unchecked, while the Odril infestation is continually fought by the goblins, with outposts monitoring it, attempting to burn it back, and sometimes falling to addiction and usurpation.
Muscheron responses to the morlock fungus vary. Some ignore it, able to resist it in their own right but not interested in combating it. Others regard it as a scourge or invasive species in their gardens, and resist it just as the goblins do. And some join with it, symbiotically, treating morlocks as members of their own species, and introducing outsiders to the morlock fungus to encourage joining and harmony. These last are extremely dangerous; the muscheron cultivate the fungus and ensure that the morlocks themselves are fed, and prevent the fungus from depleting the respirator slime molds, keeping their hybrid colony healthy, longer. Morlocks, after all, need not be human; many colonies will have bugbears, orcs, and sleestacks among their numbers, living in blind, drugged harmony.
***
Next week: The Lady of the Webs, and some miscellaneous critters... including the tunnel hag.
Saturday, October 10, 2026
Everybody Hates the Drow
Something I apparently wrote 15 years ago. It helps if you hear the Tom Lehrer version.
Oh, the dwarf folks hate the orc folks,
And the orc folks hate the dwarf folks.
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule.
But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
Drizz't and Bruenor Battlehammer are dancing cheek to cheek.
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise,
As long as you don't let 'em in your town!
Oh, the drow folks hate the elf folks,
And the elf folks hate the drow folks.
All of my folks hate all of your folks,
It's Oerthian as the Nyr Dyv.*
But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
Greyhawkers love the Suloise 'cause it's very chic.
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand.
You can tolerate him if you try.
Oh, the bugbears hate the hill giants,
And the hill giants hate the bugbears,
And the goblins hate the kobolds,
And everybody hates the drow!
But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
It's National Everyone-smile-at-one-another-hood Week.
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you.
It's only for a week, so have no fear.
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!
*For this, pronounce it "NEER DIVE"
Tuesday, October 6, 2026
Krond Heights and Goblin Deeps, Part 8: Orcs of the Heights, and the Ladies of Salt
Orcs may outnumber every other species on the surface of the Krond Heights. Whereas the giants are few, but mighty, and humans prefer to live near the rivers, the orcs range throughout the entire Heights, mostly in small bands that barely acknowledge relationships. In the east, common orcs are most plentiful, many filtering up from the Blood Drinkers and the predecessors, the Green Scourge, or fleeing the same. In the west, orcs from Cosdol and the Odril Hills push into the mountains, while snow orcs spill down from the high glaciers and from the north, and gray orcs bubble up from the Netherdeep. In the middle, they mix; green and grey, white and green, grey and white. Physically, the result is largely indistinguishable from a common orc; perhaps a bit lighter of skin, and more tolerant of the light of day, but no more distinguished. Socially, however, the Krond Heights orcs are a breed apart.
Krond Orcs
As is known, snorks do not subjugate their women completely; their smaller tribes and less abundant resources make this impractical. Even in the relatively rich lands of the Krond Heights, this social feature of snow orcs continues; tribes are seldom larger than 40 members, and the women, while not co-equal with the men, are not their chattel. They gather food stuffs, make the tools of the tribe, and defend the camp. Though slighter than male orcs, they are still strong, and many are skilled with spear, bow, or even the humble sling.
Smaller orcish tribes also lead to fewer slaves being kept, but here the grey orcish cultural influence becomes evident; whereas snorks might butcher all who oppose them for meat, Krond orcs take slaves and pass them along to giants and ogres, who will make use of them. This isn’t to say some slaves aren’t eaten -- no orc goes hungry while there are slaves about -- but they are kept alive until they can be sold, or are needed for food.
There are very few black orcs in the Krond Heights, and no spawning pools to create them; the underground spaces that might have been used to create them all belong to goblins. Since so many orcs serve giants alongside ogres, much of the black orc social role is filled by orc-ogre hybrids, the orgrons. With the greater independence of Krond orc women, some are born to orcish mothers from ogre or orgron fathers. Half-orcs are also not uncommon among the Krond orcs, with not a few orcish women getting them from prisoners before those are sold on.
Common Orcs
Common orcs are more abundant near the Sanakir Hills in the east and the Odril Hills in the west. The Broken Fang tribe of Cosdol, and the Blood Drinkers of the Sanakir Hills are two large, relatively traditional tribes of orcs. Massive, with thousands of members spread over a large area, the presence of the giants above and morlocks below have prevented their expansion into the Krond Heights in a significant manner; they are there, and they have subsidiary tribes of common orcs who operate in the Heights, but they must give at least lip service to the giants or face annihilation.
The Blood Drinkers are not exerting much outward pressure, though they are causing it. While they seek to consolidate their holdings in the Sanakir Hills, they have not been active in expanding that territory, instead forcing dissident common orcs out, including into the Krond Heights. The Broken Fang are in the midst of a war with the goblins out of Gold; the Fang believe the war is about to end, but do not realize quite how much opposition the goblins can muster. Add in the giants above, and their own growing internal religious strife, and they may have bit off more than can be chewed with broken fangs.
Common orcs contribute much of the metalworking of the region; snorks have lost the skill and the gray orcs rely on others to do the work. As such, common orcs have a significant material advantage in conflicts against other orcs; chainmail against wooden or stone clubs, metal swords and axes against furs (or, in gray orc cases, mere skin). However, they run into significant social problems in the Heights, as it is hard to maintain the larger groups; communication between groups breaks down in the mountains, and so tribes fracture and splinter, which the common orc social structure handles poorly. Absent authority figures, one orc will take control, and likely make himself the new chief of a new tribe, and often resent being “demoted” if the new tribe encounters the old.
Gray Orcs
Gray Orcs roil beneath the surface, sometimes making forays above ground, but largely limited themselves to the Netherdeep. Conflict with the goblins leaves them few avenues to the surface, and severe agoraphobia leaves them with little interest. The gray orc strain in the Krond Orcs comes from days before the goblins consolidated power, and occasional groups that become isolated and join with the surface orcs for survival.
Beneath the surface, the gray orcs are a constant source of small problems for the goblin kingdom, but they lack the organization to significantly affect stability. A thousand orcs will briefly overrun an area, or break into a goblin city, and they will be squashed and the survivors will be enslaved. The orcs lack an awareness of goblin strength and organization, seeing them only as foes to throw themselves against, territory to be taken, not as a nation that will resist them. And so the gray orcs are enslaved en masse by the goblins, their warriors, women, and whelps laboring to goblin glory.
***
Sidebar: Deep Half-orcs
Deep Half-orcs are relatively rare, largely occuring only as slaves of the goblins. However, a half-orc of deep stock may exhibit the agility of his orkin heritage, as well as their greater night vision. At the player’s option, they may replace the standard half-orc +2 to Constitution with a +1 to Dexterity, and/or replace standard low light vision with extreme low light vision and a -1 penalty to attack and defense in twilight, and -2 in full sunlight.
***
White Orcs
The white orcs, also called Snow Orks or Snorks, are hugely influential in the Krond Heights. Many ally themselves with the Hoar Frost Giants, serving as a mixture of shock troops and foresters; they hunt the lesser game that doesn’t interest the giants, track the greater game that does, and harry the giants’ enemies with raids. More pragmatic and less lazy than their common orcish kin, their tribes are also smaller, seldom more than forty at a time, and with few, if any slaves.
As a result of giantish patronage, the snorks have a great reach aboveground, and can be found almost anywhere above five thousand feet in elevation, and not uncommonly down to three thousand feet, especially in winter or where the glaciers extend. Their lack of penalty in sunlight makes them more adventurous during the day, but still prefer the night for many operations. Their homes tend to be clefts in the rock, where they can acquire shelter at minimal effort. This puts them into conflict with kobolds, who also like these clefts, but the snorks don’t consider this a particular problem; kobolds are, after all, technically edible, and that’s the sort of technicality a snork can be counted on to take advantage of.
Snorks prefer raids and hunts, but some groups also attempt trade with humans under the same giantish master. These trades are seldom, as the orcs don’t have much the humans want, but selling a few yearling llamas or iron knives for hard silver can be a good deal for the villagers. The orcs, for their part, prefer to head over to another giant’s territory and steal twice as much, while keeping their silver for important things.
***
Sidebar: Half Snorks
Half-orcs of white ork ancestry are also not common; the orcs keep few slaves, and the people of the Krond Heights keep few half-orcs. Half-snorks, however, may purchase the Temperature Tolerance (cold) talent for 5 BP.
***
Lake Vrasten and the Ladies of Salt
In the center of the Krond Heights there is a large, glacier-fed, salt lake. Named for a Brandobian explorer, Lake Vrasten has no aboveground outlets, and its underground outlets are little more than seepage; as a result it is quite salty, with a salinity that ranges from 100-320 g/kg, depending on the season (by comparison, sea water averages around 35 g/kg). It is least salty in the late spring (around Declarations), when inflow from the glacier-fed rivers is at its greatest; it is most salty in late Arid/early Reaping, when most of the summer evaporation has occurred, but before winter snows begin to moderate the salinity. The spring thaw also greatly increases the lake size, doubling its surface area as it spreads shallowly over the salt pan surrounding the deeper waters at the center. Over the summer, these shallows evaporate, until it settles on its winter size. Depth in the spring is relatively shallow; 3 feet is not uncommon for broad stretches, with occasional “ponds” of 20 feet. The central waters, however, are deep; while never properly sounded, they are definitely more than two thousand feet deep, and may be as much as a mile. The ancient dwarves, and the modern goblins, do not mine too close to the lake, for fear of flooding. Both have had accidents that resulted in massive destruction, and both, independently, developed deep superstitions about halite (rock salt), considering it unlucky.
***
Sidebar: Halite and Superstition
Dwarven characters (or others with significant mining experience) with the Superstitious quirk might choose to replace result 3 “Thinks the world is flat” with “Considers rock salt to be unlucky”, similar to number 7 on the Superstitions table.
***
The area around the lake is not well-inhabited. Some clans of kobolds live on the edges, as salt is the only flavor they really taste, but the shifting water levels and high concentrations of salt make it a poor home for most life. Goblins, too, do seasonal salt gathering in a few places, mostly in the late summer. The salt flats are home to small crustaceans that thrive when the lakes are high and hibernate when they are low, as well as the birds and small mammals that feed on them. The deeper water is home to a number of species of shrimp and some few fish, capable of metabolizing or passing the salt. Aside from birds, who feed on the crustaceans and the ever-present brine-flies, there is little wildlife over 12 inches in length.
What is present at Lake Vrasten is magic. Lake Vrasten seems to draw magic out of people; any effect using spell points cast within the area of the lake (either on the water or on the salt flats that mark the greatest extent of the lake in spring) has a percent chance equal to its level of automatically double in cost, with no additional effect; only Apprentice and Journeyman spells and effects are immune. This applies to spells cast by mages and sorcerers, wands that emulate these effects, or any magical items that draw upon Spell Points. Even Rogues, should they possess Supernatural Affinity, may find themselves drained of their few spell points when using some of their tricks. Keyholders who will visit Lake Vrasten during the day roll 2d6+4 to determine how much magic they should expend; they are never instructed to cast all their magic, and quite often told to expend none.
Despite this hunger for magic, the area is rich in ley lines. Attunement to a nearby line ceases the drain of magic from the land, provided one can access the line while casting spells. An Ore line twists and shifts through the salt with the seasons, rearranging itself with the flood and retreat of the water. The deeper parts of Lake Vrasten reportedly have a Water line, though that can be difficult to access. And a certain point on the shore of the lake, near the edge of the perennial deep water, has a single, powerful, Blood Line rising from the ground and into the sky. The Ore line is always tied to this Blood line in a vortex; the Water line will, at times, connect to form an Evran Knot. While most Blood lines dissipate after a few days, this line has been present for as long as dwarven histories exist; the first records of the lake mention the Blood Line, and the Ladies of Salt.
The Ladies of Salt are a covey of hags of ancient power, dedicated to the Riftmaster. Their membership is not constant; there have been as few as three and as many as eleven hags at any one time, as some members choose to leave or new members join. Fanatically devoted, they attune themselves to the Ore and Blood lines, and attempt to keep others from doing the same. Unlike many hags, they are not profligate users of magic; they know the value of a well-placed enchantment, no doubt, but do little with magic that flesh can accomplish, and prefer alchemy to incantations. Currently, the Ladies are only three in number, and they maintain some alchemy workshops and shrines to the Riftmaster around the periphery of the lake’s greatest expanse (some watched over by the local kobolds, or home to other servants).
They tolerate no shamans or witch doctors; even those with minor shaman gifts (such as the Spirit Favor Talent) will be given at most a single warning before being killed. Spirit favors requested in the Lake have a chance equal to the level plus the absolute value of the reaction roll to draw their attention, and rumors from shamans nearby state that they have killed the spirits of the Lake and Salt within their domain. How this could be done is not known, but it is also said that even spirits avoid the place now.
The Ladies are not expansionist; they exert little power outside of Lake Vrasten, save to protect their homes and against those who would interfere with their charge. They do, however, consult with other, nearby, powers; giantesses are known to come to them, as are some women of the human and halfling populations. They have, in the past, had members who were not proper hags; demi-human, humanoid, or giant women who have joined them, or tunnel hags who have lived nearby, but, at present, there are only three, and all are hags of the usual sort. It is not that they do not deal with men, but, traditionally, consulting them has been the privilege of women, and most communities have stories of the evil fates they have inflicted upon men who displeased them. It is known that they have extensive libraries, taken in trade over the centuries for other bits of wisdom, and that they treat fairly with Keyholders and those anointed to the Riftmaster; one of them is always a cleric of his, in addition to her other magic, and the others are acolytes.
***
Sidebar: The Mystery of Lake Vrasten
No one, perhaps even the Ladies of Salt, know what lies beneath Lake Vrasten. Rumors and theories abound, of course, including ancient Titans, dead Gods, slumbering undead, or the first dragon. All that is known is that Lake Vrasten is hungry for magic, and that the Ladies have dedicated centuries to keeping it from getting enough.
***
Saturday, October 3, 2026
Complete Priest's Kit Evaluation
I've never liked the Complete Priest; it felt far more like it was about designing a priesthood than about playing a priest, and the priests produced were laughably weak compared to the cleric, or even druid. It mostly just disappeared from my memory, partially because I always felt it was so bad. But, it also means I haven't examined it in 30+ years, so I'll take a look now.
Amazon Priestess: Like the Complete Fighter Amazon, this is pretty lackluster; a +3 to hit and damage on the first blow against sufficiently bigoted enemies, and a -3 reaction adjustment with the same. A couple bonus NWP. None of this really improves their role as priestess, though, as with the amazon fighter, it at least flows out of the early 90s tradition of "women get to be warriors even if men don't think they can be." Which, given 1e strength limits on women, might make some sense, granted, but it rings very hollow now, and that it doesn't support them as priests is even worse, IMO.
Barbarian/Berserker Priest: This is an interesting one, not because it is, itself, cool, but because it synergistically improves the Berserker from the Complete Fighter. You get a bonus NWP, a modifier to reactions (positive with barbarians and berserker peoples, negative with non)... but you can also make berserkers go berserk more quickly. Normal? 10 rounds. With a priest nearby? 5 rounds. If the priest is capable of inspiring a berserker rage, they can do it in one round, and you don't even need to use the power. It creates some layers to character creation, but if you don't HAVE a berserker in your game, it's not much.
Fighting Monk: Another interesting one, though it also illustrates the weakness of priests created with this book, and why we never used it. Free Tumbling, can take NWP from any of the five groups without penalty, and gets two free NWP for specialization in unarmed combat. They can't wear armor or have a lot of stuff, which is pretty standard for a monk, but the game also assumes that limiting them to 3 Major spheres and 2 minor spheres is reasonable. Keep in mind, the PH cleric has SIXTEEN spheres of influence... this one is supposed to top out at 5, two of them minor.
And, look, I have ranted about the power of the cleric in the past. They are a powerful class, being 2nd best as both warriors and spellcasters. But the Complete Priest has what I consider an absolutely bonkers approach to this problem, where they try to cut priests back amazingly, with little trade-off. A Fighting Monk gets some neat benefits, and I think making one off a basic cleric is some decent trade offs with the "can't wear armor" and "can't keep stuff" requirements. But this one? Sweet blessed monkey.
Nobleman Priest: Mechanically, bonus NWPs, bonus cash, and reaction modifiers, plus the "can demand housing/must house others on demand", and requirement of conspicuous consumption, like the Complete Fighter nobleman. Their advantages are almost a copy/paste of the fighter kit, but their disadvantages aren't... the fighter's ability to fall into hugely negative reactions by failing to maintain appearances is missing from the priest. It somewhat moves the Nobleman Priest from the fighter's "OK, this is kinda cool" to "Yeah, no." It just isn't as interesting or mechanically based as the fighter it emulates.
Outlaw Priest: Upside? Free Religion Proficiency, no superiors. Downside? Superiors will try to stop you. Mechanically, even socially, it's boring.
Pacifist Priest: TBH, kind of interesting, if not something I necessarily want to play. You get a whopping +2 to Charisma, and +2 to reactions on top of that if someone isn't completely opposed to your pacifist philosophy. Downsides? You can only buy proficiency in bow and dart (why not sling? Or anything else? Who knows), and can only use them in competition. You cannot wear armor or use weapons or you lose your spells for a month. It's interesting, certainly, but even the text says "Yeah, this isn't a good idea for PCs."
Peasant Priest: Peasant priests can get shelter from peasants in their own communities, and get +2 to reactions from all peasants, which nice. Bonus of Agriculture or fishing and Weather Sense or Animal Lore (not animal handling? Or husbandry?) In return, they have some VERY strict limits on ownership. Other than weapons, they can only have one item worth 15gp; nothing worth more. Everything else must be 10gp or less, and the total can't exceed 75gp, again excluding weapons. So, they're barred from almost all armor, and, depending on your reading, might be barred from all magic items as well. It is a heavy load to carry, and I think makes the peasant priest unsuited to most D&D.
Prophet Priest: Gotta say, I kind of like this one. Take a standard priest, give him Weather Sense NWP, and the Prophecy Granted power from earlier in the book, and a -2 to reactions because We Don't Talk About Bruno... with the caveat that the reaction penalty won't make people more than Cautious. It's a nice balance of abilities... you get a granted power your priesthood doesn't normally grant but reasonably could, and it makes people nervous. Mind, the granted power is itself wishy-washy as all get-out, but it's a good balance at the level of the kit. It might have been nice to see this with the Barbarian/Berserker priest, really.
Savage Priest: Bonus Weather Sense or Direction Sense, Endurance or Survival, with a level/day detect magic, and a penalty to reactions from non-Savages. Comparing it to the fighter savage, it's a little meh, because the fighter savage had more options. Unlike the Savage Warrior, he can wear armor and definitely use a shield, and doesn't have the Savage Warrior's limitation on future use of armor, unless the DM takes the "Use the Savage Warrior equipment rules" option given in the kit. And I know I liked the prophet priest and they're much the same thing but... this one feels boring. Like they slapped Savage on it and cribbed from reading part of the Savage Warrior but changed just enough that the professor wouldn't accuse them of plagiarism.
Scholar Priest: This one is, IMO, fun. You get a bonus of Reading/Writing, can turn WP into NWP if you like, get a bonus with most scholars... but have a 1 in 6 chance of any random scholar HATING you. Like, instead of a +3 with this scholar, you get a -6, because you argued with them about something. A negative 6 reaction modifier is as if you had a TWO Charisma. It can be as much as an effective 10 point penalty to Charisma with this one person. It is LOVELY. The person who wrote this kit has clearly talked to people in academia, if not been one themselves.
Overall? Really boring. Of them, I only really liked the Prophet and the Scholar; the Pacifist was interesting, but not something I want to play, or particularly want at my table. I think I'd like the Barbarian/Berserker better if they actually gave you the Incite Beserker Rage power, like the Prophet gives the Prophecy power. But most of them felt like copies, or poor copies, of ones in the Complete Fighters, while the Fighting Monk was more "I decided I was going to completely rewrite the priest class and make you pay for it."
Complete Thief's Kit Evaluation
A bit of a difference from Complete Fighter's: Required proficiencies in Complete Thief's are bonuses, not must-purchases. I'll also say that these kits are relatively understated... a few small changes, rather than rewriting the class. Most of the time, they're just a concept, but they've got a bit of mechanics to back up that concept, usually without going so far as to throw the game off. Usually.
Also, aside from the Acrobat, all of them are net zero change in thief skills; a +5% is matched by a -5%.
Acrobat: So, Unearthed Arcana had the Thief-Acrobat prestige class; where you paused your basic thief advancement in order to get some acrobatic abilities. This is somewhat similar, though it lies on top of a standard thief, rather than replacing it. Amazingly, it doesn't have Required NWPs, because it builds those into the special benefits... Jumping, Tumbling, and Tightrope Walking should be used even if the DM isn't using NWPs, and the Acrobat gets a +1 to use them; +2 if they aren't wearing armor. It's pretty lackluster, but since there are no Hindrances at all, and a net +5% to ability scores, it's a solid choice for any thief. Strangely, though, dwarves who take it don't get any benefits, and gnomes and halflings don't get the jumping or tightrope walking benefits for some reason.
Adventurer: The non-kit. No benefits, no hindrances, no skill modifiers, just some general role-playing advice when your "thief" is more "guy who adventures" than anything else.
Assassin: Two bonus NWP (Trailing and Disguise), and the ability to be proficient in any weapon. Their special benefit is a large section about their ability to identify poison and neutralize poison, tied with a note that, if the DM allows it, they might use poison. Herbalism is a big help in this (bonus to identifying AND giving them the ability to brew both poisons and antidotes), but they don't get it as a required/bonus NWP. As a drawback, they get only 2/3 the thief skill points, and a -4 Reaction Penalty with non-evil NPCs who know he's an assassin (subject to DM Discretion). I'm of two minds on this; and somewhat lean towards the skill point penalties being excessive; a -4 reaction penalty is huge, but it's also just as situation-dependent as the ability to use and identify poisons.
Bandit: Starts off with the requirement that they have a bludgeoning weapon (and they have a few more that they can use, not available to regular thieves), but also the knife. And they get a free WP, to fill as they like from among thief weapons. For benefits and penalties, they have a +1 to surprise in wildness settings, but they get a reaction penalty of -2 when dealing with non-bandits, if known as a bandit. Combined with a bonus WP, it's not bad; they're a tiny bit constrained in WP, but they get three of them. They have a somewhat situational bonus, and a meaningful but reasonable reaction penalty... and it is reasonable in both number and purpose.
Beggar: Four required/bonus NWPs' Begging, Disguise, Information Gathering, and Observation; they're considered the actual benefits of the kit, while the hindrances are a reaction roll penalty and a tiny amount of starting money. They have strongly worded guidance with regards to beginning weapons, but it stops just short of being a requirement... it's more enforced by starting with almost no money. It's not written, but I'd allow an adventuring beggar to avoid the reaction penalty if they avoid begging, but that also makes their hindrances practically nothing (the low beginning gold should be less of a problem once you'd adventured a bit... or dipped a few extra pockets). This is a solid choice, since it's mostly bonus NWPs.
Bounty Hunter: Bonus WP and the ability to take a non-thief WP (at the cost of two slots), and bonus NWP of Tracking, but no other benefits or penalties. Concept, with some small mechanical benefit.
Buccaneer: Sea-related NWPs (Swimming, Seamanship, Navigation), plus some bonuses when fighting from ropes like you're Errol Flynn, with a bit of a penalty climbing without a rope. Definitely a concept, but simple and balanced. They have a sizable chunk (bigger than a few kits themselves) about fighting in the ropes on a ship. Kind of surprised that they don't have Rope Use as a bonus, but it is recommended.
Burglar: Bonus NWPs, some guidance about skills, and not much else.
Cutpurse: A kit that does something! And is balanced by NOTHING. Cutpurses can use one of their bonus NWP to guess at class and level... two Observation checks to guess the two different sorts of information. But their hindrance is "other thieves look down on them", without much else to say.
Fence: Fences get NWPs, a bit of a reaction bonus with thieves (+3) and a note that they have to stay at home to be effective, and are harassed by the cops.
Investigator: NWPs and nothing else.
Scout: Scouts get the usual NWPs, a bonus (+10%) to hiding and moving silently in the wilderness, and an across-the-board penalty (-5%) on thief skills in urban settings.
Smuggler: No bonus NWPs! All they have a is a +1 to avoid being surprised.
Spy: Bonus NWP, nothing else.
Swashbuckler: This is the kit that got 97.8% of the creativity. I'm not joking. It is by far the best kit in the book (though that is damning with faint praise), and perhaps too good. Bonus WP, and gets to pick one weapon that they fight with a Fighter's ThAC0 which, holy cow, that is benefit enough for a thief... they have some limitations on weapon selection, needing to devote at least half of them to a small set... but they're not overly onerous.
But that's not all! They get the almost-required 2 bonus NWPs, they get a special disarm skill, and they get a bonus on reactions with appropriate-gendered NPCs! This is balanced by the swashbuckler being a permanent main character... "Trouble seeks out the swashbuckler." If some story hook comes along, it is going to spike the swashbuckler in the head every time. It's not a mechanical penalty, it just means that playing a swashbuckler is fun, which is great, since they were given some big advantages.
Swindler: A single bonus NWP.
Thug: Another kit that does something! +1 WP (can be non-thief but, like the bounty hunter, that requires an extra slot), +1 to Hit, a single bonus NWP, and -20 Thief skill points at 1st level. A flat +1 to hit is a nice benefit, not gonna lie, but 20 points of Thief skills might be a bit much to make me want it... but I can see some people who will.
Troubleshooter: A bonus NWP and the Swashbuckler's main character disease. The book makes it pretty clear that this is supposed to benefit the troubleshooter as much as it helps him, but I imagine this can be hard to tell.
----
Overall, these kits are really lackluster. Out of 18 kits, it feels like most are just some bonus NWPs combined with alterations to thief skills without much mechanical effect, leading to the overall effect being more NWPs. There are some with other bonuses, but those aren't very significant... nothing like the Savage Warrior or Samurai. Swashbuckler is very good and, while I say "Maybe too good", I'd note that thieves generally suck, so "slightly more competent" isn't a bad thing.
Complete Fighter's Kit Evaluation
So, I did something similar in the last couple years, where I went through the Complete Dwarves and evaluated all the kits... the good, the specific, and the ugly. I figure for the "make things to keep me occupied" projects for the weekend (maybe getting my brain working on other WIPs), I'd do the same for other Complete Books, just to see how they match up. So, first, the Complete Fighter's Handbook.
As a general rule, I like mechanical changes and dislike more wishy-washy social ones, especially if they impose an expectation but not an obligation. I'll bring these up as I go.
Amazon: Mechanically, you get two bonus NWP, and a +3 to hit and damage against low-level foes for your first hit only, in exchange for a big reaction penalty against those same foes, and some restrictions on your initial equipment. Mechanically, it's pretty unimpressive. Socially? It feels like an atavism, leftover from earlier fantasy... which would have been current at the time, TBH, what with the Sword and Sorceress Anthologies. But its a very specific cultural set-up designed to interact with a very specific cultural set-up that is largely absent from the game... I can't even think of any canonical Amazon-like societies in standard worlds.
Barbarian: Another specific one; you get a bonus NWP (Endurance), and some wild rules on encounter reactions (things either go REALLY WELL or REALLY BAD), accompanied by some fairly light restrictions on initial weapons and armor (can't buy the really expensive armor you probably couldn't afford anyway, have to spend almost all your starting money). It can mostly be emulated just with choices (Endurance NWP, correct weapons and armor choices), so it's a question of whether or not you want the Title of "Barbarian" and want to interact with the Encounter Reactions (which, IME, was kind of variable as to whether or not DMs did).
Beast Rider: The first really substantive change; you are psychically linked with a certain kind of animal, gaining huge bonuses to interact with them. You start with a mount of that type, which might include flying animals. You get some NWP related to that. It's balanced by a pretty severe reaction penalty (they apply to almost everyone), and some possibly severe consequences if your mount dies (damage, possibly feebleminded for a few hours). There's some tighter restrictions on initial armor and weapons than a barbarian has (smaller list for both), and the same money spending requirement.
I like this one. It's a CHANGE. While you could emulate some of it, the monster-as-mount mechanic would otherwise only exist with DM fiat. I will note that, for some people, the Riding (Land-Based) bonus NWP might be irrelevant, and so the DM might want to step in there. Since these are general warrior kits, I assume a paladin of this kit would get their special mount as a their "warhorse", or a special version of that mount.
Berserker: Barbarian plus, really. Same bonus NWP. No required WP, but forbidden from taken certain weapons (ranged) initially.... and those are kind of weird, because you can't have thrown weapons, either, and those aren't usually separated. The reaction penalty is more straightforward (+3 from tribes with berserkers, -3 from everyone else), and there are berserking rules; I'm not a fan of the full turn required before one goes berserk, because it feels like it would be inapplicable a lot of the time, but the rules are pretty solid and well-described.
I don't particularly like this one, personally, but that's my dislike of berserking in general, not that it is a bad class. I kind of wish that, instead of flat bonuses to attack, damage, and HP, it was more scaled (bonus HP based on HD, bonus strength to do strength things, including damage); at 1st level, that +5 HP is great. At 9th level, it's not terribly significant, and your berserker can't do things like shatter chains. It's a Choice to play a certain kind of character, and good to have mechanical support for it, but I don't like that kind of character, so it's not for me.
Cavalier: A powerful kit, with a lot of benefits, blending aspects of the Beast Rider, Berserker, and Noble Warrior. Moderate restriction on beginning weapon proficiencies and beginning gear purchasing (must buy lance, must buy sword, must buy most expensive armor), and some HEFTY and MEATY role-playing restrictions; heavy limitation on missile weapon use, role-playing consideration on target acquisition (a little squishy, since a cavalier might argue about "powerful looking"... a wizard looks a lot more pwoerful to me than an ogre!), and big restrictions on armor use and behavior... a cavalier is almost as restricted as a paladin, in many ways, but to a campaign-defined "Chivalry", rather than Law and Goodness. They have a bit more leeway (three strikes), but it's still some powerful restrictions.
Like the Berserker, I don't like it for me, but I think it's a good one mechanically. It's got good advantages balanced by some strong disadvantages. I'm of the opinion that the disadvantages are less likely to matter, because you don't choose the cavalier kit if you're not planning on role-playing a cavalier, but they're there, and they're significant enough to offset the bonuses.
Gladiator: This is one of the first with sort of wishy-washy restrictions. You have some required WP, but you get a free specialization, which makes it a backdoor for non-fighter weapon specialization... and you can even do it as a paladin, if you're a former/retired gladiator (IMO, gladiatorial combat isn't usually a paladin thing). One of their bonus NWP is even a rogue one, so extra bonus. But their hindrances are all social, and non-mechanical... the gladiator is easily remembered, there's always NPCs bothering them about being a gladiator. These don't carry mechanics, though, and you run into the possibility that if the DM over-relies on it, it becomes "The Gladiator and his Hangers-on". A good DM can handle this, but I think it's a narrow thing.
Myrmidon: My favorite, but with the same problems as a Gladiator: The benefits are mechanical, the problems are circumstantial. The NWP are not bad, not great, there's no real restrictions on weapons or armor, but there may be bonus money if there are restrictions. You get a free weapon specialization in some of the most common and powerful weapons (again, non-fighter specialization is possible), and there's the advantage/disadvantage of a patron. Like the Gladiator, this is as much of a restriction as the DM wants, and if he makes it too much of a restriction, it colors the entire campaign, as Myrmidon Bob either has to do what he is told, or leave the game to do what he is told.
Noble Warrior: While this is one of those "character choice" things, I think it's well supported mechanically. Required WP, Useful bonus NWP, required expenditures (offset by a huge amount of gold), and some mostly social bonuses (offering Low Justice, requesting lodging, reaction adjustment)... but those social modifiers are offset by some pretty substantial penalties. +10% per level to costs is going to eat into early funds, and failure to pay them eats away at the reaction bonus... and the reaction bonus can turn into a massive penalty (-6????) if the character gets on the social outs. Unlike the Gladiator or Myrmidon social requirements, these are both supported by mechanics, and personal without being campaign defining... a disgraced noble might try to drive the campaign, but it's not as strict as with a myrmidon's patron or a gladiator's low-rent promoters. While you could just say "I'm a nobleman" and otherwise play your fighter, this gives it some teeth.
Peasant Hero: More on the fence about this one, for all that it mirrors the Noble Warrior in some ways. A couple useful NWP, some DM-dependent restrictions on WP, and a "spend all your money" mandate. No explicit mechanical bonuses, but some RP ones, and an explicit mechanical penalty if you don't act like a peasant hero. But most of this is lost, BTB, by going one town over, where you're not necessarily a hero to the local peasantry. While a Noble gets their benefit wherever their society stretches (a noble from Baldur's Gate might be able to impose on someone in Waterdeep), the Peasant Hero needs to be either local or adopted by the locals. In a lot of ways, a kit that could just be a concept.
Pirate/Outlaw: Entirely a character concept with a couple bonus NWPs attached, and some optional weapon restrictions if you call yourself a pirate. Other than that... no intrinsic benefits, sort of vague "the law is after you" penalties.
Samurai/Ronin: Mechanical upsides? Two specializations, in good (if very uncommon) weapons, and proficiency in a weapon of choice (from a list). Two bonus proficiencies, but a Required NWP from a non-warrior class group, which cancels out the value of that. Limited options for weapons and armor at 1st level, but a free katana. Kai-shout lets them get 18/00 strength for one round, once a day per level, which is nice, but not terribly overpowered (especially since it might eventually be overridden by magical equipment). The samurai balances this with Myrmidon-like fealty restrictions... the ronin balances it with half XP, which, holy shit, that is WAY too much for the benefit. I know it is thematic and all, but, sweet monkey, that's a big penalty. Give them a reaction penalty or something instead.
For the samurai, I have the same problem as the Gladiator and the Myrmidon. For the ronin... yikes.
Savage Warrior: Limited weapon choices, with an admonishment (but no requirement) to stay with those weapon choices even after level 1. LOTS of free NWP; four, where most are just getting two. HEAVY gold and equipment restriction... no gold at all, just four weapons and ten other items, and possibly a horse or canoe. Their benefit is a single 1st level spell, with the DM approval, that they can cast level/day. The default options are Alarm, Animal Friendship, Detect Evil, and Detect Magic... all good options, with the DM-limited option to choose others.
Their penalty though is pretty strict. They have to wear mostly light clothing; heavy restrictions on armor use, to the point where they arguably cannot wear any at all without a steep penalty to pretty much every action; you might be able to argue with a DM and get access to Hide or similar, and I think one could get a shield, but no armor on a warrior-type can be pretty severe. And since the kit carries an attribute requirement (15 or higher con), you're less likely to have a good Dex to offset that. It is definitely a Choice to play one, and you have to think carefully about what you're going to do, and maybe buy the DM a pizza so you can get some kind of "savage" armor.
Swashbuckler: Lots of benefits, story-based penalties. They get two extra weapon slots for swashbuckler weapons, but beyond that, hey, it's two extra weapon slots, and no restrictions on what they specialize in (if they can/do). Two bonus NWP, can buy Rogue NWP at-cost, AC bonus in light armor, and a bonus to reactions with the opposite sex (which, in this enlightened age, I'd modify to "with those attracted to the swashbuckler's gender"). Their "penalty" works out to "make the swashbuckler the main character"; bad luck falls on them, but in interesting ways. They don't get shot more often in a random melee, but they get mistaken for the king or wind up in the bedroom of someone with a jealous husband... it's a very non-penalty penalty.
Wilderness Warrior: Another take on the "barbarian" archetype... you have the Mighty Thewed Warrior (Barbarian), the Beast Rider, the Berserker, the Mystic With Special Powers (the Savage Warrior), and the Wilderness Warrior, who is "Outsider good at survival without being explicitly bad at anything else." Their penalty is "gotta be an outsider", but not backed up by mechanical things, while their benefit is "good at their main skill".
That said, it's my favorite of the five. It's penalty is soft, but it's bonuses aren't that severe, either. It's got loose restrictions that don't apply much beyond first level, but, while it's benefit is cool and useful in its circumstance, it's not so amazing that you are going to play a Wilderness Warrior every time. The Barbarian has fiddly reaction mechanics; the Berserker is Like That, the Savage Warrior runs around mechanically naked; the Beast Rider is also good, but it is a choice to be cavalry in a game that doesn't always favor cavalry. The Wilderness Warrior is Good at One Thing, and it's not even a game-changing thing outside of certain circumstances.
End evaluation?
My favorite remains the Myrmidon, though that's because you can just say "Screw you guys, I'm going to Undermountain"... there may be consequences, but it's not abandoning your kit or anything. The Gladiator and Samurai are similar, with only some differences in the social place of the character, and the Samurai being a bit cooler (TWO weapon specializations and the kai-shout), but more limited because their favorite weapons are unlikely to be common. Mechanically, I like the Cavalier, the Beast Rider, the Noble Warrior, and the Berserker; strong mechanical basis for the character, though they are a character type you want to play... you are unlikely to just take them because they're good, you're going for a specific role.
Unimpressive are the Amazon, the Barbarian, the Peasant Hero, and the Pirate/Outlaw. There just isn't much there aside from a character concept, sometimes with some loose benefit. You can mostly do them by saying "I am an X" and playing that, and won't notice much difference.
Mechanically screwed up? The Swashbuckler is pretty much zero downside, with some good advantages. The Savage is a warrior who doesn't wear armor, which is a hard sell. And the Ronin gets only half XP, which is WAY too big of a penalty.